staying home alone is cool because yay i can go out for a walk at 3 in the morning and cook whatever i want and play some weird loud music and walk around in nothing but a t shirt and pee with the door open but its also terrifying because did my eye just twitch am i having a stroke oh my god i am going to die alone of a stroke at the age of 18 and my family will come home to a very messy house and a rotting body
(via laughcentre)
my dad and this other guy were fighting over who would go on a date with my mom in high school so they put their forearms together and my mom dropped a lit cigarette in between them and said “first one to pull away loses” and my dad still has a little scar
(via laughcentre)
